Before you get romantically involved, don’t forget the Relationship Agreement
A long time ago in a university far, far away, I attended law school and passed the bar exam. Which just goes to prove that an outstanding law school education is no guarantee your life will turn out...
View ArticleWedding vows I don’t remember making
It’s Valentine’s Day – a day each year when millions of us husbands take time to show our wives just how much they mean to us, before we go back to complaining about them to our male friends the other...
View ArticleForgotten wedding vows – a wife’s rebuttal
[Note from the staff at VFTB: Last week Tim Jones wrote a piece called “Wedding vows I don’t remember making.” This week, Tim’s wife Michele has requested equal time for a rebuttal. Tim is confident...
View ArticleLessons in bonding
Recently my college-age daughter Rachel emailed me, asking for help with a problem. Such an event – being rarer than a sighting of Halley’s Comet – calls for all-hands-on-deck-full-throttle parental...
View ArticleThe secret to taking the stress out of moving
My wife and I recently decided to move. Of course, when I say that, I mean that my wife decided we would move. As her husband, she did allow me some say in the matter. I had the option of coming along...
View ArticleThings I hope people won’t mention at my funeral
Recently I turned 35 years old, and by recently, I mean 25 years ago. But more recently, I turned 60 – this past month. When you turn 60, you start asking yourself uncomfortable questions like, “How...
View ArticleThe joys and perils of working for my wife
Recently my wife Michele and I started a new chapter in our lives by moving to a lovely, somewhat remote island. We also decided to start working together. We thought, what better way to strengthen our...
View ArticleFifty Shades of White
When I was first learning how to color in 1st grade, my art teacher taught us about red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black and white. Pretty much all the colors I’ve needed ever since. Then I...
View Article“Will you take $750 for that 2013 BMW?” – Helping my teenager buy her first car
Recently I helped our younger teenage daughter, Emmy, purchase her first car. She had no idea how much used cars cost. I think she was hoping to afford a slightly used Lexus. What she got instead was a...
View ArticleIt’s a Wonderful Life (but it could have been better) – Part 1 of 2
I had the weirdest dream the other night. Remember the Jimmy Stewart classic, It’s a Wonderful Life? In the film, Stewart’s character, George Bailey, questions whether the people in his life would have...
View ArticleIt’s a Wonderful Life (but it could have been better) – Part 2 of 2
[From Part 1: I had the weirdest dream recently. A lot like the Jimmy Stewart classic, It’s a Wonderful Life. In the film, Stewart’s character, George Bailey, questions whether the people in his life...
View ArticleA Night at the Opera
My wife always complains we don’t do enough things to expand our cultural awareness. Somehow she does not consider The Big Bang Theory enough of an expansion – I keep telling her she’d learn some...
View ArticleMy Fifty First Dates
When I look back at my youth, I sometimes cringe about all those first dates and how awkward I was. A lot of men worry about making a bad first impression, fearing they might do something stupid like...
View ArticleSigns My Daughter Loves Me
If you’re a parent like me – or even if you’re a parent who’s not like me – at some point you’ve probably asked yourself, “Why on earth did I ever have kids?” In my case, I blame my wife. For years, I...
View ArticleMy Confession to My Readers
Lately, I’ve been carrying a heavy burden that I need to get off my chest. There are many things I feel guilty about, and I just have to come clean about them to my loyal readers – all eleven of you....
View ArticleDay at the Museum
As a good husband, I try to feign interest in my wife’s favorite passions. It’s easy when we’re talking kittens or kayaking. But the next time my wife asks, “Honey, how would you like to check out this...
View ArticleBreaking up with an English Teacher
[The following text exchange took place between a female business executive named Roxanne and her boyfriend of four years, Virgil, a high school English teacher.] Roxanne: Dear Virgil, I gotta tell...
View ArticleIn Life, My Wife Got Shortchanged
Dear Reader, This is a desperate plea for help. Not for me, mind you. For my wife, Michele. I don’t know how to put this delicately, but my wife suffers from VID – Vertical Impairment Disorder. She is...
View ArticleMy Sister’s Plot to Kill Me
[This is a true story.] One of the following is something I have NEVER done. Can you guess? Eaten oysters Driven 1,300 miles with a rabbit and a parakeet Gone skinny dipping Jumped out of an airplane...
View ArticleMy Visit with Mom
Recently, I flew across the country from Seattle to my hometown of Albany, New York, to spend a few days with my elderly mother. While my father died relatively young (at age 64 – a year older than I...
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